The fact that your child died by his own hand compounds your loss immeasurably. Beyond all the grief and helplessness that other parents feel, your child’s suicide confronts you with particular problems, complications of your grief that are unique to survivors of a suicide. You feel a profound sense of failure that you could not prevent his death. Closely tied to your sense of failure is the implied rebuke: you could not make his life worth living, you could not offer him enough of… of whatever he needed so that he would want to live. You feel a terribly personal abandonment that he preferred to die rather than be alive with you.
– excerpt from “The Worst Loss” – Barbara D. Rosof
Up until October 26, 2004, suicide was a stranger to our family. Suicide was something that happened to a friend of a friend or it was something we had seen on TV, but now suicide is a part of all of us who knew Dylan James Hunt. Although it was he who made the decision to take his own life, we are the ones who are left behind to try and pull together and survive it.
We are all here for each other as a circle of friends and family and this web-site is to share our memories and support each other in our sorrow of losing a son, friend, grandson, cousin, nephew.
Life Ain't Always Beautiful -Allan Gary
Life ain't always beautiful Sometimes it's just plain hard Life can knock you down; it can break your heart
Life ain't always beautiful You think you're on your way And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggle makes you stronger And the changes make you wise And happiness has its own way of takin' it sweet time
No, life ain’t always beautiful Tears will fall sometimes Life ain’t always beautiful But it's a beautiful ride
Life ain’t always beautiful Some days I miss your smile I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles
And I wish for just one minute I could see your pretty face Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way
But the struggles makes me stronger And the changes make me wise And happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time
No, life ain’t always beautiful But I know I'll be fine Hey, life ain’t always beautiful But it’s a beautiful ride What a beautiful ride
Dylan was born at St. Jude Hospital in Fullerton Calif. on April 18, 1990, died October 26, 2004 at the age of fourteen years old, Dylan leaves his memory with his father Bill Hunt, mother Denise Luirette, step-father Bob Luirette; grammy Kathy Hunt, g-pa & g-ma Albert and Barbara Tafolla; uncles Scott, Jeremy, Phil; aunts Jill, Carla. Dylan had a special relationship with his cousin Deeanna who was like a sister to him.
Dylan loved music. Most important to him were the two bands he helped founded “The Illness” (Dylan, Julian, and Manual) and Dance Floor Sex (Dylan, Julian, Cameron, and Andrew). He played bass for both bands.
This site is dedicated to our son Dylan and to all who have had suicide become a part of their lives. Learning to conquer feelings of disappointment and self-doubt is part of growing up. For some teens, however, these feelings become overwhelming and their thoughts turn to suicide. If you are having thoughts of suicide, below are some numbers and web-sites for you to reach out and get information from.
National Hopeline Network 1 (800) suicide / 1 (800) 784-2433
WHEN SOMEONE TAKES HIS OWN LIFE An excerpt from THE HEALING OF SORROW by Norman Vincent Peale In many ways, this seems the most tragic form of death. Certainly it can entail more shock and grief for those who are left behind than another. And often the stigma of suicide is what rests most heavily on those left behind.
Suicide is often judged to be essentially a selfish act. Perhaps it is. But the Bible warns us not to judge, if we ourselves hope to escape judgment. And I believe this is one area where that Biblical command especially should be heeded
Nor do we know how many valiant battles such a person may have fought and won before he loses that one particular battle. And is it fair that all the good acts and impulses of such a person should be forgotten or blotted out by his final tragic act?
I think our reaction should be one of love and pity, not of condemnation. Perhaps the person was not thinking clearly in his final moments; perhaps he was so driven by emotional whirlwinds that he was incapable of thinking at all. This is terribly sad... but surely it is understandable. All of us have moments when we lost control of ourselves, flashes of temper, or irritation, of selfishness that we later regret. Each one of us, probably, has a final breaking point- or would have if our faith did not sustain us. Life puts more pressure on some of us than it does on others. When I see in the paper, as I do all too often, that dark despair has rolled over some lonely soul, so much so that for him life seemed unendurable, my reaction is not one of condemnation. It is, rather "There but for the grace of God..."
And my heart goes out to those who are left behind, because I known that they suffer terribly. Children in particular are left under a cloud of "differentness," all the more terrifying because it can never be fully explained or lifted. The immediate family of the victim is left wide open to tidal waves of guilt, "What did I fail to do that I should have done? What did I fail to do that I should of done? What did I do that was wrong?"
To such grieving persons I can only say, "Lift up your heads and your hearts, surely you did your best. And surely the loved one who is gone did his best, for as long as he could. Remember, now that his battles and torments are over, do not judge him, and do not presume to fathom the mind of God where one is his children is concerned.”
The slideshows below were made for us by Bryan Crowe in remembrance of Dylan Hunt.
Dylans Slideshow Update includes pics of Dylan and "Dance Floor Sex" 10/25/04 Dylans Slideshow Update
Dylan's first Slideshow To view slideshow you will have to download 2.4 meg player. Right click show and choose full screen
This web-site was first created, with love, by Bryan Crowe. Although he didn’t know Dylan or his family very well prior to Dylan’s death, Bill and I (Denise) now consider Bryan, Darlene, Cameron, and Connor family friends. Bryan introduced us to so many wonderful ways to remember Dylan and we are forever thankful.
If you have problems playing the videos try using Quicktime
Five years / Denise Luirette (mom)
I’ve been trying to write a post all morning but for whatever reason the tone is coming off angry and bitter. Odd because that’s not mood I’m in today I’ll work on it and post my five years thoughts soon.
An excerpt from Odd Hours – Dean Koontz / Denise Luirette (mom)
Grief can destroy you – or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. Or you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meani...
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dylan i figure ud like these lyrics / Britt Cuzo (cuzo)
soul meets body~i want to live were the soul meets body and let the sun wrap its arms around me and bathe my skin in water cool and clinsing and feel feel what its like to be new because in my head theres a grey hound station were i sned my thoughts ...
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DYLAN! / Brittany Cuzo (cousin)
I miss you so bad i have been skating just thinking if u were beside me we could be wrestling n i could win like the time at uncle scotts i was feeding teal n u chased me 2 get the cheezits it was fun i miss seing u n hearing ur sarcasim lol u were s...
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I'm so glad to see..... / Mark Peeler (Friend)
I'm so glad to see that this website is still alive and well. We all miss you Dylan! My thoughts and prayers still go out to you Bill glad to see all is well with you and yours!
Mark.
Dylan was born on April 18, 1990 at St Jude Hospital in Fullerton, Ca. When he was young he liked to dig holes in the dirt, play with trucks, and Lego’s.He loved cubbyholes, whenever there was a box around big enough he was sitting in it and playing. He enjoyed watching Barney the Dinosaur, Veggie Tales, and The Power Rangers.Later he wouldn’t miss an episode of The Simpsons. He read a lot - first it was "Goosebumps" then "Harry Potter", he would read every night before he fell asleep. He lived almost all his 14 years in Fullerton (When he was little we lived in Anaheim for two years).He attended pre-school through kindergarten at IvyCrestMontessoriSchool in Fullerton; 1st and 2nd grade at ChristLutheranSchool in Brea.In the summertime, on Fridays, he would go to the Brea Plunge and swim.3rd grade he started attending Orangethorpe Elementary, from there he went to Ladera Vista Jr. High.He had just started the 9th grade at FullertonUnionHigh School when he committed suicide.
He liked having pets, he had betas (fish), a lizard, birds and hamsters, but his dad would usually end up taking care of them (the lizard ended up being let loose at HillcrestPark).
He loved his family; he enjoyed playing video games with his Uncle Jeremy, and whatever Uncle Scott said was as if God spoke it Himself, Dylan would listen to every word.His cousin Deeanna was like a sister to him, he could always make her laugh.Dil and his dad would ride their bikes everywhere, they were more then parent and child, they were friends.
Dylan had a very creative side, he liked to draw and write.When he was about nine, started playing the electric guitar; for his first recital, at Mars Music, he played “Ball and Chain” by Social Distortion.When he was eleven, he taught himself (with some help from Julian) how to play the bass. His favorite bands were The Smiths, Morrissey, the Misfits, and Joy Division, but he listened to all types of music from The Doors to Johnny Cash. I don't believe the music drove him to suicide, I think it spoke to how he felt - he related to the lyrics.
Music and his friends were his life and Fullerton was his town.He would skateboard to get around, but he wasn’t a “skater”.He loved going to the Thursday Night Market, and walking around downtown looking for something to do. When I drive through Fullerton, I see him everywhere.
Dylan was a normal kid/teenager.He was better then some and worse then others.We had minor problems, but nothing that would indicate suicide.
Dylan took his own life on Tuesday, October 26, 2004.He was only 14 years old – so young, too young.It was raining that night; I think the angels were crying along with all of us.As far as we could tell he had been contemplating suicide for almost a year, we don’t know what put the option into his mind, but from his journals, we know that he struggled with it.He wrote extensively about his emotional pain, mostly he wrote in the form of songs and poems.It seems as if at first, he didn’t want to die, but by the end, he was emotionally gone.Its like he had already died inside, and his body just needed to follow.There was no final incident; it was just an accumulation of events that were too much for him.
It’s hard to define a legacy for someone so young, he had barely lived.I guess it would be, he taught us to think about the consequences of our actions.Everything we do has an affect on someone else, sometimes it's minor and hardly noticed, but sometimes it’s something so big we have to relearn how to live again.
This has been written by his mother. I have never been mad at Dylan for taking his own life; I’ve cried a million tears, but not one of them has been out of anger.Some angels just have fragile wings.
Tributes and Condolences
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