The fact that your child died by his own hand compounds your loss immeasurably. Beyond all the grief and helplessness that other parents feel, your child’s suicide confronts you with particular problems, complications of your grief that are unique to survivors of a suicide. You feel a profound sense of failure that you could not prevent his death. Closely tied to your sense of failure is the implied rebuke: you could not make his life worth living, you could not offer him enough of… of whatever he needed so that he would want to live. You feel a terribly personal abandonment that he preferred to die rather than be alive with you.
– excerpt from “The Worst Loss” – Barbara D. Rosof
I know - Jude
You’ve got such a pretty smile Its a shame the things you hide behind it Let em go Give it up for a while Let em free and we will both go find it
I know theres nowhere you can hide it I know the feeling of alone I know that you do not feel invited But, come back, come back in from the cold
Tell me how you really feel Tell me what is on the inside of you All the somethings you conceal Only keep away the ones who love you
Step away then from the edge Your best friend is life is not your mirror Back away, come away Back away, come away Back away, come away Back away, come away Back away, come away Back away, come away I am here and I will be forever
I know theres nowhere you can hide it I know the feeling of alone Trust me and dont keep that on the inside Soon youll be locked out on your own
You're not alone You're not alone And don't say you've never been told I'll be with you til we grow old til I'm in the ground and I'm cold I'm not sitting up here on some throne Like a dog you can always come home Dig up a bone Look around
Up until October 26, 2004, suicide was a stranger to our family. Suicide was something that happened to a friend of a friend or it was something we had seen on TV, but now suicide is a part of all of us who knew Dylan James Hunt. Although it was he who made the decision to take his own life, we are the ones who are left behind to try and pull together and survive it.
We are all here for each other as a circle of friends and family and this web-site is to share our memories and support each other in our sorrow of losing a son, friend, grandson, cousin, nephew.
Dylan was born at St. Jude Hospital in Fullerton Calif. on April 18, 1990, died October 26, 2004 at the age of fourteen years old, Dylan leaves his memory with his father Bill Hunt, mother Denise Luirette, step-father Bob Luirette; grammy Kathy Hunt, g-pa & g-ma Albert and Barbara Tafolla; uncles Scott, Jeremy, Phil; aunts Jill, Carla. Dylan had a special relationship with his cousin Deeanna who was like a sister to him.
Dylan loved music. Most important to him were the two bands he helped founded “The Illness” (Dylan, Julian, and Manual) and Dance Floor Sex (Dylan, Julian, Cameron, and Andrew). He played bass for both bands.
This site is dedicated to our son Dylan and to all who have had suicide become a part of their lives. Learning to conquer feelings of disappointment and self-doubt is part of growing up. For some teens, however, these feelings become overwhelming and their thoughts turn to suicide. If you are having thoughts of suicide, below are some numbers and web-sites for you to reach out and get information from.
National Hopeline Network 1 (800) suicide / 1 (800) 784-2433
WHEN SOMEONE TAKES HIS OWN LIFE An excerpt from THE HEALING OF SORROW by Norman Vincent Peale In many ways, this seems the most tragic form of death. Certainly it can entail more shock and grief for those who are left behind than another. And often the stigma of suicide is what rests most heavily on those left behind.
Suicide is often judged to be essentially a selfish act. Perhaps it is. But the Bible warns us not to judge, if we ourselves hope to escape judgment. And I believe this is one area where that Biblical command especially should be heeded
Nor do we know how many valiant battles such a person may have fought and won before he loses that one particular battle. And is it fair that all the good acts and impulses of such a person should be forgotten or blotted out by his final tragic act?
I think our reaction should be one of love and pity, not of condemnation. Perhaps the person was not thinking clearly in his final moments; perhaps he was so driven by emotional whirlwinds that he was incapable of thinking at all. This is terribly sad... but surely it is understandable. All of us have moments when we lost control of ourselves, flashes of temper, or irritation, of selfishness that we later regret. Each one of us, probably, has a final breaking point- or would have if our faith did not sustain us. Life puts more pressure on some of us than it does on others. When I see in the paper, as I do all too often, that dark despair has rolled over some lonely soul, so much so that for him life seemed unendurable, my reaction is not one of condemnation. It is, rather "There but for the grace of God..."
And my heart goes out to those who are left behind, because I known that they suffer terribly. Children in particular are left under a cloud of "differentness," all the more terrifying because it can never be fully explained or lifted. The immediate family of the victim is left wide open to tidal waves of guilt, "What did I fail to do that I should have done? What did I fail to do that I should of done? What did I do that was wrong?"
To such grieving persons I can only say, "Lift up your heads and your hearts, surely you did your best. And surely the loved one who is gone did his best, for as long as he could. Remember, now that his battles and torments are over, do not judge him, and do not presume to fathom the mind of God where one is his children is concerned.”
The slideshows below were made for us by Bryan Crowe in remembrance of Dylan Hunt.
Dylans Slideshow Update includes pics of Dylan and "Dance Floor Sex" 10/25/04 Dylans Slideshow Update
Dylan's first Slideshow To view slideshow you will have to download 2.4 meg player. Right click show and choose full screen
This web-site was first created, with love, by Bryan Crowe. Although he didn’t know Dylan or his family very well prior to Dylan’s death, Bill and I (Denise) now consider Bryan, Darlene, Cameron, and Connor family friends. Bryan introduced us to so many wonderful ways to remember Dylan and we are forever thankful.
If you have problems playing the videos try using Quicktime
Mother's Day / Denise Luirette (mom)
Some Moms (and Dads) Don't Get a Perfect Ending -Erma Bombeck If you are looking for answers this Mother's Day on why God reclaimed your child, I don't know. I only know that thousands of mothers out there today desperately need an answer as to why t...
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in the valley of death / Denise Luirette (mother)
I recently read a book about a man who is haunted by a ghost who wants revenge. The repeated theme of the story is “The dead pull the living down”. That idea resonated with me. Not that the dead has pulled me down, I’ve pulled mysel...
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keep your head up bill / Brittany J. (cousin)
Bill i just wunted to tell u that i know u hurt and its a pain that is permanent and i am very sorry and i hurt as well and we all wish pickle was still here. Its an unberiable pain at times. and i can tell u that when ever me n dyll were joined 4 th...
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a list for suicide / Denise Luirette (mom)
Masquerade Loneliness Inadequacy Failure Obsession Hopelessness Depression Isolation Fear Resolution Decision Rope Chair Suicide Dying Death Resuscitation...
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dream / Me
Another dream last. Are you visiting or is it just my needing heart?
Dylan was born on April 18, 1990 at St Jude Hospital in Fullerton, Ca. When he was young he liked to dig holes in the dirt, play with trucks, and Lego’s.He loved cubbyholes, whenever there was a box around big enough he was sitting in it and playing. He enjoyed watching Barney the Dinosaur, Veggie Tales, and The Power Rangers.Later he wouldn’t miss an episode of The Simpsons. He read a lot - first it was "Goosebumps" then "Harry Potter", he would read every night before he fell asleep. He lived almost all his 14 years in Fullerton (When he was little we lived in Anaheim for two years).He attended pre-school through kindergarten at IvyCrestMontessoriSchool in Fullerton; 1st and 2nd grade at ChristLutheranSchool in Brea.In the summertime, on Fridays, he would go to the Brea Plunge and swim.3rd grade he started attending Orangethorpe Elementary, from there he went to Ladera Vista Jr. High.He had just started the 9th grade at FullertonUnionHigh School when he committed suicide.
He liked having pets, he had betas (fish), a lizard, birds and hamsters, but his dad would usually end up taking care of them (the lizard ended up being let loose at HillcrestPark).
He loved his family; he enjoyed playing video games with his Uncle Jeremy, and whatever Uncle Scott said was as if God spoke it Himself, Dylan would listen to every word.His cousin Deeanna was like a sister to him, he could always make her laugh.Dil and his dad would ride their bikes everywhere, they were more then parent and child, they were friends.
Dylan had a very creative side, he liked to draw and write.When he was about nine, started playing the electric guitar; for his first recital, at Mars Music, he played “Ball and Chain” by Social Distortion.When he was eleven, he taught himself (with some help from Julian) how to play the bass. His favorite bands were The Smiths, Morrissey, the Misfits, and Joy Division, but he listened to all types of music from The Doors to Johnny Cash. I don't believe the music drove him to suicide, I think it spoke to how he felt - he related to the lyrics.
Music and his friends were his life and Fullerton was his town.He would skateboard to get around, but he wasn’t a “skater”.He loved going to the Thursday Night Market, and walking around downtown looking for something to do. When I drive through Fullerton, I see him everywhere.
Dylan was a normal kid/teenager.He was better then some and worse then others.We had minor problems, but nothing that would indicate suicide.
Dylan took his own life on Tuesday, October 26, 2004.He was only 14 years old – so young, too young.It was raining that night; I think the angels were crying along with all of us.As far as we could tell he had been contemplating suicide for almost a year, we don’t know what put the option into his mind, but from his journals, we know that he struggled with it.He wrote extensively about his emotional pain, mostly he wrote in the form of songs and poems.It seems as if at first, he didn’t want to die, but by the end, he was emotionally gone.Its like he had already died inside, and his body just needed to follow.There was no final incident; it was just an accumulation of events that were too much for him.
It’s hard to define a legacy for someone so young, he had barely lived.I guess it would be, he taught us to think about the consequences of our actions.Everything we do has an affect on someone else, sometimes it's minor and hardly noticed, but sometimes it’s something so big we have to relearn how to live again.
This has been written by his mother. I have never been mad at Dylan for taking his own life; I’ve cried a million tears, but not one of them has been out of anger.Some angels just have fragile wings.
Tributes and Condolences
